Monday, October 03, 2005

Ground Control?

More like Major Tom floating around in space.

My life is a farce.

I'm not living where I want to live ~ I'm not living with the person I want to live with ~ I'm not doing what I want to do.

So change it? Can't. I'm a big one for saying everyone has choices but you can only choose to a certain point. Some things are just out of our hands and there isn't a damn thing we can do about them no matter how much we want to.

What do I see for the future? More of the same. Waking up every day, going through the motions like a robot, smiling and saying fine thanks when asked how I am ... occasionally the bubbling volcano inside erupting, but for the most part, dying inside a little more with each passing day.

9 Comments:

Blogger Derek Rydall said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:03 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw Mushy ~ I have such empathy/sympathy for you. I have many days with similar feelings. *hugs* and an ear if ya need it. :)

1:49 pm  
Blogger Mushster said...

Atomic ~ Yes you're right and I have tried to make some changes in that regard but even still, I find it's only a mask that covers what's really underneath.

I know it sounds very negative but I am thankful for some things.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting :)

Seamy ~ sigh, an ear could very well lead to a very wet shoulder. Wanna take off to Hawaii for a while? lol

3:59 pm  
Blogger Muse said...

I remember those feelings all to well Mush Babe. Im here if you ever just wanna vent.

Hugs and love

11:10 pm  
Blogger Shauna said...

dying inside a little bit at a time?

I've been there too.

I'm here holdin your hand and listening.

9:55 am  
Blogger Mushster said...

QM ~ Yeah I've been here before too and I know it can get a hell of a lot worse. Thanks :)

Hugs Musey ~ I know you get it xxx

Fly ~ Sometimes I wonder who I'll be at the end of it all, if there'll be anything left of 'me', whoever that is these days. I guess all we can do is hang on to the hope of 'one day' ...

Hugs sweetfly xx

2:18 pm  
Blogger Edge said...

deep breath and hanging on, that's important stuff....life can change so fast in either direction.....hang baby hang

9:02 pm  
Blogger Patrick M. Tracy said...

Mush,

Too bad we can't revise the things we need when it's clear we can't get them...

2:33 am  
Blogger Mushster said...

I'm hangin' Edge, I'm hangin'

Firehawk ~ I suppose it feels like giving up if we do that and even when we do, there's still that little trace of hope underneath.

4:03 pm  

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